This post is all about my funny father. After all, it IS his birthday today. I think it only appropriate after surviving 55 years of life, 29 of those years with me as a professional hair whitener, I dedicate a blog post to him.
I absolutely adore my father. Always have, and always will (well, there was this one time when I was like 15 that I remember I was REALLY mad at him for some reason, dramatically cast myself on the floor in my bathroom and cried for a few hours because I thought I could never forgive him, but I don’t remember why I was even mad. I will chalk it up to teen-aged hormones and say, yes, I’ve always loved him). He can come off as a quiet man, and I think many people don’t really get to see how simply fantastic and incredibly silly he really is. All my odd behaviors, I can blame almost exclusively on him.
I don’t want this to sound like a Eulogy, as I am sure he’s not dead yet, so I’m just going to share some of my favorite things about him.
For starters, he drove a Jaguar when he met my mom. Now that is class. My grandpa thought he was going to steal my mother away like a sneaky snake because he drove a smooth criminal car.
While they were dating, my mom punched him out, flat on his back, in accidental self defense. His response from the ground was, “Wow! What a woman!” I think the fact that he likes and supports the idea of strong women is one of my favorite traits of his.
When I was a little girl, he would let me put all the scrunchies and curlers in his hair that I wanted. Granted, he sported a perm, so he was used to curlers in his hair. You know Bob Ross? He had NOTHING on my dad!
He thinks he is a fish. I think he honestly and truly believes that he is! I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a merman gene somewhere in his DNA. He can swim without coming up for unusually long periods of time, and he is so calm when he scubas that his air tank lasts much longer than anyone else’s.
He always made it to even the silliest of performances I had growing up. One time I had a choir concert, and I didn’t tell my parents because it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t know how he found out about it, but there he was! Grinning in the auditorium. Who goes to a high school choir concert just for funsies? All of my bigger performances came with flowers and/or balloons of some kind. I’m sure my mom helped him with some of those, but he never acted like it was a burden to be there.
My favorite times in my early teen years were going to work with him to help him with inventory. The whole way over, we would listen to either Michael Reagan or Paul Harvey. On the way home, I would torture him with playing Crimson and Clover over and over and over and over… I would even hit my throat to make it shakey for the psychedelic part. He pretended like it didn’t even bother him. On days when he had enough of Crimson and Clover, we would listen to oldies and he would quiz me on the artist. He groomed me well in the classics.
Kids are drawn to my dad like moths to a flame and he LOVES it! I don’t think he is happier than when kids are crawling all over him, boogars and all. One little girl at church used to think he was Heavenly Father. As odd as it was that her parents let her believe it, he would always make sure to smile and wave at her.
The most scared I have ever been of my dad is when I decided to taunt him when he had a cast on his leg (he broke it roller skating when I was 11). I was being sassy and told him he couldn’t spank me and especially because he couldn’t catch me. He moved so fast with that cast, I was literally petrified in the corner from shock! He definitely caught me and I definitely got a good swat on the behind.
He’s a serious goof. I’ve seen him Jete’ across the hallway in his robe, put on lipstick for a game, sneak around outside the window with a nylon on his head to scare me, and he ALWAYS makes sure to make some sort of romantic remark about my mom simply to make me feel uncomfortable. He’s good at being very sneaky, and will sneak away to the golf course whenever he can. If he gets caught, he was just in a “meeting!”
He adores my mom. Everything she does, he thinks is funny and cute. Sometimes he will call me just to tell me funny things my mom does. I don’t know how they do it, but they’re still giddy about each other after 31 years.
He takes care of his mom. My grandma has Alzheimer’s and he makes sure everything is in line. He has zero support from the rest of his family, and has taken it upon himself to make sure her best interest is kept. I honestly don’t think the rest of his family has a clue what he does for her (my mom deserves a major shout out, too, even though this isn’t about her, she does more than her share, too). It can’t be easy to see your mother lose her memories, but he just keeps on moving.
The man will quit looking for business ventures the day he dies. He is entrepreneur extraordinaire! I love that I learned with a lot of hard work, you can achieve. His hard work made my life easier, but he definitely taught us that the ease came AFTER hard work, not as an entitlement.
I could really keep on going, but for the sake of space and time, I won’t. On one of my rides in his truck one day, he told me this song reminded him of his girls. I purposely didn’t bring this up until AFTER my sister was married, because I didn’t want her to steal it. (Ha ha! Sorry Rach!)
I love you, Daddio! Thanks for letting me be your princess! Happy birthday! Love, Twink