We’ve all been there.  You come across someone who is hurting in some way, whether physically or emotionally.  You go to comfort them and HI-YA!  You are karate chopped right in the feelings!  After that, all you want to do is karate them back, or at least step on their toe, but they’re already hurt, and it’s not cool to hurt someone who is already hurt.  So, you just apologize again and walk away.

I don’t understand this.  I mean, I understand feeling awkward about it, maybe.  Definitely feeling grateful for recognizing that something isn’t right.  I even understand an explosion of tears.  Ladies, tell me a time when you were upset and you called your mom and DIDN’T burst in to tears when she asks what is bothering you.  Those are all completely acceptable.  But criticizing someone’s kind words, slapping away a comforting hand, or other rude reactions are not normal.

I try really hard to be a compassionate person.  This is something that is not always natural for me, depending on the situation.  For one, I am not always eloquent, especially when I am thinking on my feet.  I’m a major word jumbler.  Next, it depends on who you are.  If you are a hurt or sad child, animal, or little old person, I don’t have a problem offering condolences.  If you are someone who I have an established relationship or friendship with, I will probably ask you what you need without a second thought or care as to how it would inconvenience me.  I would make it happen for you.  But if I don’t really know you well, I probably won’t even notice there is a problem.  Even with close friends, I sometimes don’t recognize there is an issue until someone else points it out.  I’m not emotionally observant and if I don’t have an established emotional connection with you, I’m going to feel all sorts of awkward having the first connection being over you being hurt.  Those are situations where it is hard for me.  I obviously would notice if you had a big gash in your head.  Just know if you trip and fall in front of me, my reaction is always to laugh first.  Don’t feel bad.  I just really enjoy seeing a good fall.  It’s not personal.  I’ll still help you up!

I’m not going to stop being nice to people just because I get a good loogie to the face (or feelings) here and there when I try to be nice, but COME ON!  Can people just be nice in return?  Nobody is entitled to kindness.  It is something that is always conditional upon what the other person wants to give you.  You definitely should be treated with kindness, but it isn’t something that you are entitled to.  So don’t bark at someone who is offering you something like that.  It is just silly, and I guarantee nobody is going to continue to come to your aide if that is how they are treated when they do.  A good, simple, “Thank you!” goes a long way!  Saying nothing is even better than being mean.  Even if the person who is offering kind words has monstrous dragon breath or accidentally touches your stitches (gross).  They’re trying their best and their heart is in the right place.  Maybe you should check where you left yours, and return kindness with kindness.  Love always, CoCo!