So I know I talk about being single a lot, but that is my life, and my lifestyle at the moment, so deal.  As a single person, there are several questions I get asked a LOT.  For whatever reason, people feel like they can ask single people completely personal questions that really aren’t any of their business.  Whether it’s “So, are you dating anyone?”  “Why aren’t you married yet?” or “How often do you date?”, they are all quite personal questions with loaded answers, and frankly, I really don’t like answering them.  So, to hopefully avoid  having to field these questions, I’m going to answer once, bluntly and honestly, and you can know the answer.

First, though I am not not bitter, I had my heart broken terribly.  As much as I hate admitting it, I am still quite gun shy.  Some of you met the guy, most of you didn’t, and I really don’t think any of my “people” actually knew him because we rarely spent time with other people while together.  We were young, we were dramatic, and we were Britney and Kevin style chaotic.  The reasons that we were definitely not right together are completely obvious to me, but we did deeply love each other.  Some days I think about him and still don’t know whether to hate him or miss him (although I usually choose to hate him, because he’s married, so missing him is not really a productive activity).  I can’t overemphasize how much it bothers me that it still stings.  I know it shouldn’t, but it does, and it makes me come off as emotionally aloof.  I definitely would love to replace the bad memories with good memories with someone new, but the aloofness doesn’t really help that.  I’m working on it.

Secondly, if you haven’t been out in the single world lately, it’s not pretty.  Well, the female side is.  You can hardly throw a stone without hitting a beautiful, intelligent, woman who has herself well figured out.  It never ceases to amaze me how many wonderful women there are out there.  While it would be easy to be blind with envy, you really can’t hate them, because most of these women are also so nice!  The other side, the men, well…  I’m not saying there are no good guys out there.  I pray every day that there are!  I do have some single guy friends that are really great, but we don’t have a love connection (and single person + single person does not always = love connection.  This is a surprise to some of you, I know).  I’m saying that a lot of guys leave me singing, “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?”  They take longer primping than I do, they don’t have the guts to ask for numbers, they flit from pretty flower to pretty flower like a shallow little bird, and are constantly looking for a perfect flower that doesn’t exist.  Don’t tell me it is because of women’s liberation, either.  If they really believed that, they wouldn’t be turned off by a girl asking them out, which they are.  They still want the hunt.  They want the hunt for the trophy that doesn’t exist, leaving a trail of bright pretty things behind them who have value “beyond rubies,” yet were written off like dirt clods.  It’s aggravating.  Why would I want to commit myself to someone who worries about how resilient my body would be after children over whether or not I would be a decent mother and companion?  The good guys are scarce.  I’m just waiting for one that I am attracted to who can also carry on a conversation without looking to see if there is someone hotter than me behind me.  Call me crazy.

So that basically covers it.  #1, still healing heart that makes me leery and#2 lack of good options.  So next time you ask me why I am single or when I’m going to get married, kindly think twice unless you have a solution for my two reasons.  If you know any nice good guys, by all means, send them my way.  I can’t guarantee that we will love each other, but I’ll appreciate meeting them, and will happily introduce them to any wonderful girls I know who might fit better.  If you are a single guy reading this, learn how to court a girl.  I’ll happily help you!  In the meantime, I will continue to be happily single until the next time I get asked the questions again.